As Seen On The Bathroom Wall

When you pay more attention to the only relevant part of your body and totally ignore the one that is empty of anything but wandering silicone.

When God creates something/someone to tempt me beyond redemption and remind me that he gave me a vagina for a purpose: hunting down and "devouring" my prey.

When you use way too much false eyelash glue.

When you join a psychotic cult and play dress up.

When someone needs an image to visually define the phrase "What the hell is that?"

When ugly shoes and ugly purses mate.

When someone takes an idea and shits lavender colored rainbows on it.