As Seen On The Bathroom Wall

Watch the following series of youtube videos that make up a special filmed by British Comedian Keith Allen (father of British Pop Star Lily Allen) about the Westboro Baptist Church and never again question whether or not there are fanatical Christian extremists out there.











How do you feel? Shirley Phelp's dismissal of her own sin while condemning everyone, mother, father, AND child for the very same one is indicative of what WBC is all about: Do as we say, not as we do. They're building their own little Utopia here. It consists of 2 families procreating with each other, producing illegitimate children, and screaming FAG FAG FAG FAG FAG as loud as they can while their children swallow up their bile and vitriol.

Here's scripture for you:

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs: 24:17 Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice

Leviticus 19:18 Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.

Never let it be said that the book that they take such vile hatred from is the same one that the majority of Christians read. It might contain the same text, it might contain the same quotes, but their eyes have tainted the message, and that message is to LOVE each other, for without the faith in each other, we can not have faith in God. These people have given up on humanity, and only believe in themselves. And no, I do NOT believe them to be human, animal, or mineral, for even a dog knows when to pick up its shit and leave.

Take a look at the following picture and tell me if it offends you or not.

That is the image that is seen on a shirt that was pulled from the Nordstrom stores across the country because a woman said it "offended" her.

Story:

"PALM BEACH GARDENS, FL – A Palm City woman says an Affliction t-shirt she saw in Nordstrom is offensive. The department store chain agreed with her and removed the shirt from all of its stores.

The famous Millennium painting has striking similarities and differences to a t-shirt made by Affliction.

Judy Carbo describes the t-shirt, which shows a skeleton holding Baby Jesus, as demonic. The Millennium painting shows Mary holding Jesus.

Judy was in disbelief when she saw the shirt for sale in Nordstrom.

"As a Catholic and a Christian, it was offensive all the way around. We consider her holy," says Judy.

Judy, who is a devout Catholic, says the image on the shirt was offensive enough to say, ‘enough.’ She asked the store at the Gardens Mall to pull the shirt. They did.

Judy says, "If you were Jewish, you wouldn’t want to see a swastika on a shirt. If you were African-American, you wouldn't want to see anything desecrating you."

The Affliction brand is sold at department stores and small trendy shops. We visited several. The t-shirt was either not on shelves or sold-out. So, we brought a picture of it to find out what people thought.

Regardless of their faith, people we talked to in downtown West Palm Beach overwhelming were offended by the shirt. Here are a few statements from people we ran into:

"I would complain. I'm religious and I don't find it interesting."

"I don't like the looks of it."

"I think its more taste. The way they have the halo is offensive to me."

A group of teens did think the shirt was "cool."

In response to Judy’s complaint, Nordstrom looked at their entire Affliction selection. The chain pulled the shirt and two others – nationwide. A spokesperson for Nordstrom says, "The Company empowers its buyers and clearly someone made a bad choice. A mistake was made and fixed."

Judy does not want the shirt sold anywhere. She would also like to talk to the head of Affliction.

Affliction did not return calls for comment."

Now, I'm not exactly all for the desecration of religious symbols solely for the purpose of desecration. Art, on the other hand, is something that is very subjective. To me, the fact that you can use a religious figure like Mary and turn her into a deadhead says a lot about the freedom we have in this country to express ourselves. Personally, the image tells me that religion and faith is dying, and that faith in innocence is dead. And yes, I do believe in Christ, I do have faith in his word and in God. What I don't have faith in, however, is any one person or entity telling someone that they cannot show an image simply because it OFFENDS them.

Listen, lady, bigotry and ignorance offend me. Usually, it's kept to each individual's self, private and away from children and small animals. Sometimes though, people like this woman come out of the woodwork to demand that everyone suffer for her being offended, just for the sake of making HER feel better.

I'm sure that there are millions of people whom believe that she's right in her assumption, and there are others who agree that this shirt is as offensive as a swastika would be to a Jew. It doesn't matter that the "swastika" was an ancient Buddhist symbol long before it was raped for the evil purpose of one crazed self-hating man. Those who've chosen to enlighten themselves, however, can see differently. I, for one, would be more offended if a shirt had an image of the serial tattoos that concentration camp prisoners were forced to receive. THAT is offensive. BUT, that doesn't mean that I'd demand a store remove it from their shelves.

I hate cigarettes, beer, and tempeh. I hate Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter books. I despise Britney Spears and Paris Hilton music. But I won't demand that no one be able to make the choice of listening, reading, eating, drinking, or smoking just because it offends me. This IS America, after all, the land where your rights end where mine begin.

Our country isn't perfect, but damnit, if we keep on trying to pretend that we are, the least we can do is make sure that stupid people like this person at least help keep the facade up, instead of trying to peel it away piece by skeletal Madonna covered piece simply because she's OFFENDED.

I didn't do them last week, epic fail this Friday, so Sunday it is.

• WTF is up with half-vegetarian chocolate cake? A family friend's birthday was thrown today, and in the grand ol' fashion of "I don't want to grow up", we had the cake first. Well...I did, anyway. I had to cook dinner, so couldn't exactly stay and eat. Anyway, the cake looked incredible. Chocolate. Ooey, gooey chocolate. It tasted fabulous...except for the frosting. Vegan frosting. The cake itself had eggs in it. I can tell. I've had a lot of vegan/vegetarian foods, and there's something about the texture of a cake made with genuine eggs that you simply cannot duplicate. So, my question is, WTF would you use VEGAN frosting on a cake with eggs?
• WTF is the deal with celebrities whose IQs go down as their bank accounts go up? Puff/P/Piffle Diddy/Daddy/Dumbass went on some LSD bender and took a video camera with him as he discussed Sarah Palin. Instead of something rational, coherent, or hey...FUNNY, he chose instead to wonder if Alaska even has black people. Take a cue from Kanye West, P Something: If you're going to say something on camera about a politician, make sure the entire country is watching, and the camera is S-T-E-A-D-Y. That way, when the people are screaming at the television screen, it's NOT because they just threw up on it thanks to motion sickness.
• WTF is wrong with being a non-denominational Christian? Why is it that you're not "Christian" if you don't belong to a specific church? Jesus didn't preach in Church. He wasn't a Lutheran, Presbyterian, Methodist, Catholic, Mormon, etc... So why is it that when someone asks you "oh, what church to you go to", and you say "I don't", they look at you as though you have Jesus' ass tattooed on your eyeball? The last time I checked, the bible never stated that he will only listen to you from the hours of 8 and 12 on Sundays, and only in the vicinity of buildings that contain crosses and bear the words "Holy, Saint, and Christ" on them. WWJD if he came down and everyone was telling him he was a Lutheran?
• WTF was up with the MTV awards basically licking the asscrack of Britney Spears tonight? She won HOW MANY awards? For what? Who buys her shit anymore? Unless her CDs start coming out with coupons for free Fraps and Cheetos, plus discount weave services, I don't understand the interest. The woman might be doing better thanks to her father finally stepping in and doing what dads are supposed to do, but no matter how sane she is, she sucks as a singer, she can't write for shit, and her music has always appealed to those whose IQs scraped their knuckles on the floor of epic fail.

I'm combining my two Friday features because I was too busy, disappointed, tired, angry, frustrated, annoyed, mischievous, and bored to do them yesterday. In other words, I was damn lazy and I don't want to hear any more lip.

To the roach who stole my damn parking spot, I envy you, your ability to take so much damn joy out of robbing a mother of 4 a little 6x5 piece of asphalt so you can walk into Longs and get yourself some roid cream. And yeah, I knew that is what you needed, just by the way you gingerly climbed out of your lifted Tahoe, legs all spread wide, as though if they touched, you'd burst into some freakishly rank smelling flame. I saw the $1 swim ring on the seat, too. Pink is your color. Must match the pink bulbous mass that's probably still clinging to your sphincter. I hope it was worth nearly killing yourself and the lady who just pulled out of that stall.

• WTF is up with China saying that those little female gymnasts are 16? Their physical justification is that Chinese are small? Small can still look 16! These girls look like they should still be sucking on their mama's left nipple! I have stuck out my self-imposed ban from watching the Olympics, but it's hard to miss their faces on every news site and paper I read! They're about as 16 as Molly Ringwald is. And yes, I meant IS I don't care if they parade 100 people in front of the IOC and tell them that these girls are 16. I don't believe it.


• WTF is wrong with being honest? Holy shit, are people really that desperate for peace that they'll live with being lied to? NATO and the UN all smile and nod their heads when Russia said it would pull out of Georgia, not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES, and here we are, almost a month in, and no pulling out. It's like a John Holmes porn flick gone wrong. I think everyone knows that Russia isn't going to pull out of Georgia, nor that they are NOT in it for the massive oil pipeline that runs through Georgia. Russia sees how desperate the world is becoming for fuel, and it's way to cement its power is to possess as much oil as possible. Kind of like Britney Spears and cheetos.


• WTF is the deal with slow internet connections? Everything is running smooth and fast, like a morning pee, and then all of a sudden, it slows down. Slow connections are the kidney stones of the internet! I'm hating life when I simply cannot see my email images load up quickly enough. I need to have my fix of email smileys in the morning with my coffee and forwards and spam. It's just not the same if all I see is a pretty red X and some random and obscure word married to it, like Uber, and Snargle.


• WTF is a snargle?

Fridays suck balls.

When you're trying to get your site up and running, dealing with not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 genuine children, and one man-child, and one of those 5 babies is teething, you've got orders to complete and send out, gotta make dinner, and so on, sometimes a blog is the last thing on your mind. And so it goes that WTF slipped my mind completely.

Well, here you go: WTF Friday: The late late edition.

• WTF is up with China pulling a Milli Vanilli on the world with that little girl? I mean, sure, the US is as superficial as it gets, what with our Parasite Hilton obsession with fake tits, but the rest of the world only gives a rats ass if you have money. They don't care if some child's teeth are perfectly straight, or that her hair is pigtailed to perfection. It's already damaging enough as it is, being a female child in a patriarchal, one child only society, but to basically be told that you're too ugly to be on television is fucked up on levels that exceed my daily douchebaggery tolerance.


• WTF is the matter with Warner Brothers deciding to push back Harry Potter: Half Blood Prince? Blaming it on the writer's strike, and then saying you want to make more money does little to quell any type of anger and disappointment that so many people will be feeling. ESPECIALLY after watching that trailer. The writer's strike didn't affect the filming of the movie, since filming had been completed before it had even begun, and you'd make more money during the summer? It's HARRY POTTER, for goodness sakes! It's not a Tom Cruise movie. It's not a sequel to Battlefield Earth. It's HARRY POTTER. Those who have read the books are dying to see the film. Lazy fucks who don't read are dying to see the film. Get with the program already and get that movie out before the end of the year!


• WTF is wrong with being unmarried and living with your significant other? Dr. Laura goes on and on about "shacking up". This from the woman who "shacked up" with her MARRIED lover, now husband! It's as thought what's good for the hypocritical, fucked up, narcissistic geese is only good for her. She calls women who "shack up" "unpaid whores". So what does one call a woman who "shacks up" with married men? "Doctors".


• WTF was up with Obama being photographed throwing a lei where his mother's ashes were tossed into the sea, or spending time visiting his grandfather's grave? I understand that he placed himself in the public spotlight because of his candidacy for the office of President, but there are some moments when common decency should prevail, even if at the sacrifice of a "good shot". Journalistic integrity has no merit here, because what is there to report? What he MIGHT be thinking? What religion he MIGHT be a part of? It made me as sick as I was after seeing the pictures of Nancy Reagan plastered all over the place grieving for Ronald after his passing. This need to be voyeuristic is absolutely appalling, especially when we, ourselves, would not want the same attention an scrutiny brought upon ourselves during such private and intimate moments, public figure or not.


• WTF is the matter with drivers of Camrys? It's as though there are 2 gears on that damn car: Slow and Don't Know How To Drive. First, they merge into traffic like molasses dripping off an old lady's wrinkled ass, causing people to have to slow down or speed up just to avoid hitting their low end Lexus asses. THEN they proceed to mosey on over into the fast lane and put their shit on cruise control at 35mph while everyone else is going 60+. And yes, I swear these Camrys can cruise at 35...you have to be a secret member of the "I want to piss everyone off on the road" club to learn how. As if that's not enough of a reason to be pissed off, they then proceed to go to the EXACT SAME PLACE that you're going to, which means they want YOUR parking stall, or the one right next to it, and if they're parking next to you, that means they'll be 6 inches over the line, and parked nearly perpendicular to everyone else, thus causing you to either park AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL the way on the other side of the lot, or pulling a TOWANDA on them and ramming the shit out of their Camry. Which would feel really good at the time, but not so good later when you're standing in front of a judge...who just bought a Camry.