As Seen On The Bathroom Wall

Dear Ms. Meyer,

I began writing this letter many times in my head before I finally decided to put thought to actual word. I have felt a multitude of emotions the past few days as I absorbed the details of the recent update to your website regarding the future, or lack thereof, of the fifth and final installment of the Twilight Series, Midnight Sun. While they pale in comparison to the gamut of emotions that you have experienced as a result of the breach of your personal and public space, they do run deep, and have left me feeling bereft as well, albeit in a way that a bystander who was incapable of stopping a tragedy from occurring would feel.

I have read, reread, and then read once more, each of the books in your Twilight Series. The method in which you tell a story, while simplistic and unfettered by unnecessary descriptions that detract from the overall flow of the storyline, had a way of pulling one in, taking them to a place that makes them reach out in an attempt to actually touch a hanging branch, or to breathe deeply, hoping to catch that all too lovingly and deliciously described scent. Twilight captivated millions of readers in a way that the written word simply has not been able to do before.

It brought one deep into the heart of literary bliss, and made them believe in magic, and most importantly, love. It transported people to locales far away from their problems, their worries. They fell in love with your characters, hurt with them, cheered them, and consoled them. A love/hate relationship formed with all of us, each one dying for our own personal love story to be as brilliant, as heartwarming as that which you have chronicled in your writing. It was what kept so many of us up late at night, when we should have been sleeping. It kept us from completing assignments, chores, and other mundane things that could simply be put off, if only to find out what happened to Edward and his Bella.

And now, to know that after all that you have given to us, your fans, that there were those who would betray you to the point where your heart is so wounded that you feel incapable of completing the story for us, even if it wasn't necessarily finishing it, but rather giving it the framing it needed for display, well...it hurts and disappoints me, and so many other fans of yours and this series. It is a betrayal to all of us, too, who have waited patiently and who trusted in you, your willingness to give us every puzzle piece left in this art piece of yours.

It is why, while I may feel selfish enough to beg you to finish the story, I understand your inability and unwillingness to do so. It hardens my heart, while shattering it all in the same instance, to know that I might never know the thoughts of a character that I have come to love and endear so greatly, all due to the selfish and self-serving need of some individuals, but you have suffered a far greater injustice than I or anyone else can even imagine for ourselves, and I do not want to cheapen that.

I simply want to say that I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the gift you have given to all of us. I have the written word that you have blessed us with, the stories, the moments, the laughter, and the tears that have been shared time and time again over the pages that bear your thoughts to remind me every day that you have given us far more than we could ever give you in return. Thank you, Stephenie, for Edward, Bella, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Jacob, Carlisle, Esme, Renee, Charlie, Sam, Seth, Leah, and all of the other characters that exist in the world that you created for us in your Twilight series.

That seemed to be the running theme during tonight's RNC speeches.

Rudy Giuliani repeatedly stated that Islamic Terrorists were this and that. Mitt Romney also declared that Jihadist Islamist Terrorists were evil.

I, personally, was under the impression that all terrorists were evil. It didn't matter what religion they happened to belong to. Perhaps I was wrong all this time.

Terry McVeigh isn't evil. The Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski, wasn't evil either, apparently. ELF isn't a terrorist organization. Matter of fact, as long as you're not a Muslim, you're not evil, because only Islam is evil.

I sit here, shaking my head, while listening to the ramblings of confused and bitter conservatives chanting what sounds a lot like "white power" to the rants of those who would have us believe that if it's not Jesus Christ, it's just not right. I wait for the Ann Coulters of the world to start ripping off their skirts and laying down for the plethora of wide stances that rests on the cusp on one gigantic Republican orgy of hypocrisy, bigotry, and double standards. We've already witnessed adultery, misogyny, fornication, and idolatry on one stage, in one night, so why not add a little bit more?

Conservative my ass.

...that we're not all Hockey moms with 5 kids.

I'm disappointed in Sarah Palin. Her speech, monumental in its achievement, and historical in its moment, was down right anti-climactic and flat. Unbelievably flat.

She spoke about her experience as Governor of the largest state in the Nation...with one of the smallest populations. She spoke of how she took a surplus of money that came in from oil production and gave it back to the people, as though she made the personal decision to do so...never mind that it's already in the State constitution. She spoke about being a Hockey mom, about having chosen to give birth to a child with down syndrome, about how she married her high school sweetheart.

That's all fine and well, but is she looking to win the position of Vice President or is she writing a letter to Dr. Laura? This is the position automatically next in line should the President become unable to continue to serve, and I'm not exactly comfortable with a Dr. Laura caller who has no problem telling ME that the only way to prevent teenage pregnancy is to teach abstinence only sex-education, and then proudly announce that her 17 year old daughter is pregnant herself. I have a problem with someone trying to force their values onto me, while espousing "freedom" and the "constitution".

Not once did she talk about the economy, which is faltering amid 2 wars, budding feuds with other countries, rampant outsourcing, high fuel and food costs, and growing unemployment and homelessness. Not once did she talk about how to improve the educational system, which she claimed was her reason for joining her local PTA.

She gushed about her parents, about her husband, about her kids, about her "experience". She lambasted Obama for his lack of experience, and hailed McCain for his support of the war, and his POW experiences. All of which make him the perfect choice for President, of course.

Destiny I call for you
my hands open wide
Destiny I yearn for you
life mate soul mate my fate
Destiny I dream of you
I wander the places in my mind
Destiny I search for you
Forever reaching for you there
Destiny I will die for you
filling my lungs and drowning
Destiny I will live for you
you are every breath in my heart

Having the ability to reach through the screen and slap a bitch right now would be fantastic. You know you've felt that exact same desire at least ONCE while reading something online. I don't care how patient you are, how religious you think you are, how much of a humanitarian you believe yourself to be. It's not a bad thing, being honest with yourself about your inner desires, so why hide it?

I'm slowly losing my patience with those who consider themselves to be internet warriors. Strong online, but weak in every other regard elsewhere. In the chatroom, they're the ones who say they'll kick your ass for saying something they didn't like. On forum boards, they're the ones who blackmail you with information you've shared in confidence because they "don't like you anymore". It's pretty petty and juvenile, and ranks right up there with the whole "will you be my girlfriend, check yes or no" crap from our time as tweens.

There's a growing need for people to act out online, like toddlers throwing tantrums about not getting their way. They act as violently in text as possible. With as much hate, rancor, and ire as humanly possible. It's one thing to vent your frustrations. I vent all the time. However, I'm not threatening to destroy lives as a result of my frustration or anger. There is a line that you draw in the sand when you choose to take a stand. What most of us never seem to fully comprehend, however, is where we're standing when that line has been drawn.

Which side have we chosen to stand on? Are we standing on the side that we'd want those we care for to be standing on? Or are we standing on the side that would choose against us? Do we become the hero or the villain? And what happens once we've made that choice? Are we bound to the rules that dictate just what exactly makes each one what it is? The definition of good and evil are clear. But as the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

So here I am standing, looking at this line, so distinct, so clear, and the sides are also just as clear. However, they both appear to be leading directly to my own personal Hell, and while I have no fear of it, I also have no real desire to get there any quicker. Either path will lead to hurting someone, something, and while I can probably live with the consequences, my conscience will keep on knocking on that door in my head that refuses to be opened. And it's that knocking that I'm not sure I can live with.

But, here I go, stepping across that line. I have made my choice. It was obvious a while ago as to which side I would take. Not straddling this line, albeit subtly, anymore.