As Seen On The Bathroom Wall

The best ideas come while sitting on the pot.

WTF happened to WTF?

Fridays suck balls.

When you're trying to get your site up and running, dealing with not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 genuine children, and one man-child, and one of those 5 babies is teething, you've got orders to complete and send out, gotta make dinner, and so on, sometimes a blog is the last thing on your mind. And so it goes that WTF slipped my mind completely.

Well, here you go: WTF Friday: The late late edition.

  • WTF is up with China pulling a Milli Vanilli on the world with that little girl? I mean, sure, the US is as superficial as it gets, what with our Parasite Hilton obsession with fake tits, but the rest of the world only gives a rats ass if you have money. They don't care if some child's teeth are perfectly straight, or that her hair is pigtailed to perfection. It's already damaging enough as it is, being a female child in a patriarchal, one child only society, but to basically be told that you're too ugly to be on television is fucked up on levels that exceed my daily douchebaggery tolerance.

  • WTF is the matter with Warner Brothers deciding to push back Harry Potter: Half Blood Prince? Blaming it on the writer's strike, and then saying you want to make more money does little to quell any type of anger and disappointment that so many people will be feeling. ESPECIALLY after watching that trailer. The writer's strike didn't affect the filming of the movie, since filming had been completed before it had even begun, and you'd make more money during the summer? It's HARRY POTTER, for goodness sakes! It's not a Tom Cruise movie. It's not a sequel to Battlefield Earth. It's HARRY POTTER. Those who have read the books are dying to see the film. Lazy fucks who don't read are dying to see the film. Get with the program already and get that movie out before the end of the year!

  • WTF is wrong with being unmarried and living with your significant other? Dr. Laura goes on and on about "shacking up". This from the woman who "shacked up" with her MARRIED lover, now husband! It's as thought what's good for the hypocritical, fucked up, narcissistic geese is only good for her. She calls women who "shack up" "unpaid whores". So what does one call a woman who "shacks up" with married men? "Doctors".

  • WTF was up with Obama being photographed throwing a lei where his mother's ashes were tossed into the sea, or spending time visiting his grandfather's grave? I understand that he placed himself in the public spotlight because of his candidacy for the office of President, but there are some moments when common decency should prevail, even if at the sacrifice of a "good shot". Journalistic integrity has no merit here, because what is there to report? What he MIGHT be thinking? What religion he MIGHT be a part of? It made me as sick as I was after seeing the pictures of Nancy Reagan plastered all over the place grieving for Ronald after his passing. This need to be voyeuristic is absolutely appalling, especially when we, ourselves, would not want the same attention an scrutiny brought upon ourselves during such private and intimate moments, public figure or not.

  • WTF is the matter with drivers of Camrys? It's as though there are 2 gears on that damn car: Slow and Don't Know How To Drive. First, they merge into traffic like molasses dripping off an old lady's wrinkled ass, causing people to have to slow down or speed up just to avoid hitting their low end Lexus asses. THEN they proceed to mosey on over into the fast lane and put their shit on cruise control at 35mph while everyone else is going 60+. And yes, I swear these Camrys can cruise at 35...you have to be a secret member of the "I want to piss everyone off on the road" club to learn how. As if that's not enough of a reason to be pissed off, they then proceed to go to the EXACT SAME PLACE that you're going to, which means they want YOUR parking stall, or the one right next to it, and if they're parking next to you, that means they'll be 6 inches over the line, and parked nearly perpendicular to everyone else, thus causing you to either park AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL the way on the other side of the lot, or pulling a TOWANDA on them and ramming the shit out of their Camry. Which would feel really good at the time, but not so good later when you're standing in front of a judge...who just bought a Camry.


Aloha!

3 Comments:

  1. JamericanSpice said...
    I laughed so hard I almost pissed myself. I grabbed my boobs instead. This is just to funny!
    Shirley said...
    TOWANDA!!!! Now I gotta watch that movie...
    Christina M. said...
    I laughed at this post. Hard.

    I am ashamed , well not surprised at China all around. Eff China and their effed up ... crap. Eff them.

    Dr. Laura needs to move to China I think.

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