As Seen On The Bathroom Wall

I didn't do them last week, epic fail this Friday, so Sunday it is.

• WTF is up with half-vegetarian chocolate cake? A family friend's birthday was thrown today, and in the grand ol' fashion of "I don't want to grow up", we had the cake first. Well...I did, anyway. I had to cook dinner, so couldn't exactly stay and eat. Anyway, the cake looked incredible. Chocolate. Ooey, gooey chocolate. It tasted fabulous...except for the frosting. Vegan frosting. The cake itself had eggs in it. I can tell. I've had a lot of vegan/vegetarian foods, and there's something about the texture of a cake made with genuine eggs that you simply cannot duplicate. So, my question is, WTF would you use VEGAN frosting on a cake with eggs?
• WTF is the deal with celebrities whose IQs go down as their bank accounts go up? Puff/P/Piffle Diddy/Daddy/Dumbass went on some LSD bender and took a video camera with him as he discussed Sarah Palin. Instead of something rational, coherent, or hey...FUNNY, he chose instead to wonder if Alaska even has black people. Take a cue from Kanye West, P Something: If you're going to say something on camera about a politician, make sure the entire country is watching, and the camera is S-T-E-A-D-Y. That way, when the people are screaming at the television screen, it's NOT because they just threw up on it thanks to motion sickness.
• WTF is wrong with being a non-denominational Christian? Why is it that you're not "Christian" if you don't belong to a specific church? Jesus didn't preach in Church. He wasn't a Lutheran, Presbyterian, Methodist, Catholic, Mormon, etc... So why is it that when someone asks you "oh, what church to you go to", and you say "I don't", they look at you as though you have Jesus' ass tattooed on your eyeball? The last time I checked, the bible never stated that he will only listen to you from the hours of 8 and 12 on Sundays, and only in the vicinity of buildings that contain crosses and bear the words "Holy, Saint, and Christ" on them. WWJD if he came down and everyone was telling him he was a Lutheran?
• WTF was up with the MTV awards basically licking the asscrack of Britney Spears tonight? She won HOW MANY awards? For what? Who buys her shit anymore? Unless her CDs start coming out with coupons for free Fraps and Cheetos, plus discount weave services, I don't understand the interest. The woman might be doing better thanks to her father finally stepping in and doing what dads are supposed to do, but no matter how sane she is, she sucks as a singer, she can't write for shit, and her music has always appealed to those whose IQs scraped their knuckles on the floor of epic fail.