As Seen On The Bathroom Wall

My precious. My precioussssss.

The husband has taken my phone. No. The husband has taken my berry. Yes. He dared to breach the sacred wall of crackberry trust and has absconded with my Curve.

I am at a loss. I feel bereft. I feel...

Freaking naked.

There are few punishments that equal the total level of devastation that I feel without my precious.

The rack?

Boiling hot oil?

Root canal?

ANTM Marathon?

I shall exact my revenge on the knave for this betrayal. Mark my words!