As Seen On The Bathroom Wall

The best ideas come while sitting on the pot.

An Open Letter to V.H.

Dear V,

Let me start by saying how grateful I am that God blessed me as an only child. I cannot begin to tell you how thankful I am for his good grace and his wisdom, because when I see what I could have had in a younger sister, a sister like you, I cringe.

It makes me shudder with disgust, the behavior that you have displayed towards your family. You've behaved like a spoiled brat, unwilling to do anything that requires any amount of work, completely lazy in all aspects of life. Whether it's your marriage, your family, or your faith, your lack of drive is foretelling, the type of person you truly are. When you put more effort into shopping for cute tops than you do in taking care of your own dog, it only shows just how sadly superficial, wholly materialistic, and woefully un-Christ-like you truly are.

I want it be known that were I to ever meet you in person, I'd be able to know who you are instantly by your stench of hypocrisy and contempt for anything that doesn't meet your highly idealized and absolutely unrealistic standards that you, yourself, are incapable of reaching. You've developed this sense of entitlement to all things, and the one thing you can never get, because you are so undeserving, is the respect and genuine love of those who see you as a person, and not just as some warm, malleable wet spot in the mattress.

Your need to always be better than anyone else, simply to be able to continue to look down your nose at other people, is probably the one trait that will leave you the most lonely. While others are busy living their lives to their own standards, you'll be alone, demanding everyone else live to yours. When others are being loved by their families, cared for, respected, enjoyed, you'll be the one wondering why no one calls, no one writes, no one comes home at night.

I don't have to say it for it to be already known, but I don't like you. I don't like what you stand for, don't like what you've done to the people around you, don't like your shirking your responsibilities because you're too immature and too greedy, needy, whiny, and utterly stupid to do anything else, and I definitely don't like you for your selfish and bigoted behavior towards those you are commanded by GOD to love.

I hope, for your sake, that when the time comes when you realize just how alone you truly are, that those whom you've left stranded, those whom you've left alone because they didn't meet your expectations, are still there, willing to take you back into their arms, like Jesus would.



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