As Seen On The Bathroom Wall

The best ideas come while sitting on the pot.


I'm a woman. That means I have one. It's the one thing every woman has in common. Some of us don't have breasts, a uterus, ovaries, or fallopian tubes, but we all have a vagina.

And apparently, in the world of politics, that's all that matters.

But, as most men will tell you, and this IS a male dominated world, not all vaginas are the same.

Take for instance the vagina that belongs to Michelle Obama and the one that belongs to Sarah Palin. Palin is running for the office of Vice President. Michelle Obama is the wife of the Presidential candidate. Palin will fill an official seat of power should she be elected. Obama will be the first lady should her husband be elected, and have no official power what-so-ever. Palin is next in command should something happen to the President. Obama will be widow and have to vacate her family out of the white house something happen. Two different seats, two different women, two different vaginas, but both are up for same level of criticism, to a point.

There's very little rush to condemn those who want to criticize Michelle Obama for her political leanings and the misconstrued statements. She's got no official seat of power, yet she's being attacked and targeted like she does.

Then there's Palin, who came under scrutiny, as she should, when she was chosen to be VP, and the axes on that criticism fell because she's "a mother" who has five children. Don't talk about her children. She'll do enough of that for all of us. Don't talk about her vagina either. She'll take care of that, too.

So let's talk about other things, shall we? How about we talk about their take on foreign policies? Michelle Obama isn't running for office, but her opinions regarding diplomacy and international relations are criticized as being too liberal, too socialistic. It doesn't matter that she'll never be able to implement them, or propose a bill in any capacity unless she runs for office herself. All that matters is that she has a vagina, like Palin. And Palin, with her foreign policy experience comprising of her state being within viewing distance of Russia, is being hailed as a reformer. Well, let's reform our Foreign Policy to involve only the countries that we can see from our own country. Guess that means less involvement in Israel and more in Mexico and Canada.

Palin's vagina, of course, is very important to the GOP. Without it, they could never hold her up as a paragon for Pro-Life doctrine. (BTW, Sarah, doctrine implies a specific principle, teaching if you will, regarding practices not limited to just government and religion. Maybe that should have been explained to you a bit better before your interview on ABC. FYI, the word comes before LIPSTICK in the dictionary. You know, that book you'd probably ban because it has the word "homosexual" in it?) Why, poor, suffering, all alone Sarah made the CHOICE to give birth to a child with down syndrome, and insists that if she can do it, anyone can, because she's just like the average woman who chooses to terminate her pregnancy due to birth defects. With the tiny, minor, insignificant exception of the fact that she has a state funded staff at her beck and call, free medical care, and access to the best of everything. But don't let THAT deter you from making the exact same CHOICE that she did. Especially since, if she has her way, it won't be a choice anymore. It'll be the only thing you can do. And then, when that child is out, and you cannot care for it, you'll be treated like a leper for daring to have a child you couldn't care for.

You know, men get cracked on a lot for thinking with their lower, middle appendage. A lot of times, it's wholly deserved. I'm married to a guy who often forgets to think with the more northern end of his person, and that resulted in 4 lovely CHOICES of my own. However, rarely is it ever stated that we women think with our VAGINAS.

I think it can now be said, without any uncertainty, that Sarah Palin has been thinking with her lipstick covered one, and it's mesmerized the GOP, while Michelle Obama would probably get better reception if hers was a transplant.

Ain't it funny how that works? I'm a proud vagina American. I just don't think with mine.



  1. Liberal I am. Bonafide I be. said...
    My vagina wants to pack up and leave after hearing the "forced to give birth" ya ya'ing on by Palin. My vagina wants to slap her vagina in the mouth, literally for those words. Those words you said, being the "I gave birth to a baby with downs, so can you."

    Seriously. She should find something else better to do with that gun collection.
    Kyla said...
    You are my hero! Have I ever told you that. I am sick of hearing about how Palin is just like us moms and How can I not vote for her?! Blah, she is nothing like me and thank god for that.

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